The last time I saw Ricky was at the end of October, he texted me if I wanted to go out. We met up and had some drinks and talked about what was going on in our lives. He said he was upset but was getting better and making the best of everything. He said he was going out more, staying away from the computer and trying to not let any drama filter into his life. He seemed happy and he wore a smile all night. From his previous Facebook statuses, I thought this was a good change for Ricky, because he had me kinda worried; he had been posting things so morbid I had to tell him to stop scaring everyone. When we were saying our goodbyes, I invited him to my band's gig Halloween night and he said he would come.
Halloween came and went. Ricky didn't show. A few days later I got a text from him apologizing for not showing because he had a bad week. It was all fine. I told him to feel better and to be careful. We texted back and forth for the next couple weeks. That ended last Tuesday night when I got the phone call that Ricky was no longer with us.
My heart sank.
I'm not sure how to feel about any of this...
After going through my last texts and emails with Ricky, I did find a conversation where I told him that I loved him and he told me that he loved me too. I find so much comfort in that. I suppose I'll just pretend that Ricky moved away. In the meantime, I'll miss him... until we meet again.